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“I don’t belong here.” If you’ve ever caught yourself whispering these words at a doctor’s office, in a waiting room, or scrolling through perfect pregnancy announcements for the millionth time, you’re not alone. In fact, that stubborn little impostor voice seems to be a not-so-welcome passenger along the fertility journey for so many of us.
Just recently, I stumbled on a BBC article about Sharon Horgan—yes, the hilarious powerhouse behind "Motherland" and "Bad Sisters." She dropped a line that totally stopped me in my tracks: after wrapping the second series of "Bad Sisters,” she finally felt confident she “belongs in the room.” (Here’s the article if you haven’t seen it: Sharon Horgan says she only found confidence after Bad Sisters series two.)
Wait. Pause. Sharon Horgan—award-winning, crowd-favorite, on her second hit series—didn’t already feel like she belonged? So why did that give me hope on my own rollercoaster to parenthood? Because the truth is: belonging doesn’t magically appear at the start of any big journey. You don’t buy it with a kit, earn it with a certain number of cycles, or find it stamped on a clinic brochure. Sometimes, it comes way later—after you’ve survived more than you ever thought possible.
The “Belonging” Myth We Secretly Believe
Let’s be honest. When I started exploring at-home insemination, I convinced myself I was the “odd one out.” I saw friends sailing through traditional pregnancies, and felt like I was sneaking in the backdoor—less legitimate, less “real.” Maybe you know that feeling, too? It’s like everyone else got handed a membership card except you.
But here’s the twist nobody tells you: belonging isn’t about how you started your journey, it’s about how you show up for it—over and over, imperfect and uncertain as you are.
When Community Makes All the Difference
I can pinpoint the moment my doubts began to quiet. It wasn’t after a positive test (still crossing fingers), but when I met my first “cycle buddy” in a support group. We shared charts, vented about shipping delays, and laughed at the wild things we’ve Googled at midnight (seriously, who knew there were so many ways to track ovulation?).
Suddenly, my story wasn’t weird or lesser—it was common. There’s something about seeing other people trying, failing, cheering, and trying again that reshapes your idea of “normal.”
Embracing Your Own Path—With All Its Twists
For me, using an at-home insemination kit was a deliberate, empowering choice, not a consolation prize. I remember obsessing over which kit would work best: Is low motility an issue? Have I considered sensitivities? Is privacy important to me? (Spoiler: yes!)
Turns out, you actually have more control than you think. Sites like MakeAMom’s resources aren’t just about products—they’re packed with success stories, how-tos, and real talk about what to expect. I found reassurance in knowing these kits are reusable, affordable, discreetly shipped (seriously, the plain packaging put my mind at ease), and thoughtfully designed for different needs—like the CryoBaby for frozen sperm, the Impregnator for low motility, and the BabyMaker for those with sensitivities.
But the bigger shift happened when I realized: there is no single definition of “belonging” on this journey. You belong if you’re hopeful. You belong if you’re scared. You belong when you try, even when it feels impossible.
What Sharon Horgan—and Our Fertility Paths—Teach Us
Sharon’s story hit me because it’s a reminder that confidence isn’t always instant—even for those who “should” have it. Maybe you’re the Sharon Horgan of your friend group, quietly doubting you have a right to take up space here. If so, try this experiment: reach out to one person in a support group, ask a “silly” question, or just share your latest high or low. Watch how quickly your sense of belonging starts to grow.
Still unsure if you fit in? Here are a few things that helped me banish that impostor feeling:
- Remind yourself: There’s no “right way” to build your family—every method is valid and courageous.
- Connect with others: Even one friend or peer can make you feel less alone.
- Lean into resources: Trusted sites (like MakeAMom’s resource hub, where transparency about success rates and real testimonials is the norm) can normalize your experience.
- Be patient with yourself: Sometimes, confidence lags behind action—and that’s OK.
Final Thoughts: You’re Already In the Room
If Sharon Horgan had to wait until her second series to feel she belonged, maybe belonging is something we all grow into. Maybe it isn’t just about where we are on the journey, but how honestly we show up—even when we’re unsure, wobbly, or scared.
So, if you’re in the thick of it—researching your first insemination kit, joining your fifteenth support forum, or quietly hoping nobody can see your nerves—know this: you already belong.
Has there been a moment when you suddenly realized you weren’t alone, or that your way of building a family is completely valid? Or are you still searching for that sense of belonging? I’d love to hear your thoughts—drop a comment, share your story, or just let us know you’re out there, navigating this wild ride with the rest of us.