Why Lorde’s ‘Virgin’ Album Made Me Reconsider the Messiness of My Fertility Journey

Have you ever felt like your fertility journey was a messy, emotional rollercoaster? I know I have. Recently, while listening to Lorde’s new album Virgin, I realized something profound about the way we approach conception — and more importantly, how we cope with its challenges.

If you haven’t tuned into the album yet, here’s a quick snapshot: Lorde dives deep into raw topics like sex, drugs, and eating disorders, unapologetically embracing imperfection and emotional messiness. A reviewer from Business Insider described Virgin as “messy, emotional, and perfectly suited for the moment” (you can check out the full review here: Lorde's new album 'Virgin' is messy, emotional, and perfectly suited for the moment).

What struck me most was how this “messiness” mirrors the experience of so many trying to conceive at home. Fertility isn’t a straight path. It’s full of ups, downs, unexpected twists, and sometimes, heart-wrenching setbacks. Yet, society often expects us to present a polished, clinical narrative when it comes to conception — and that couldn’t be further from reality.

The Emotional Truth Behind At-Home Fertility

Navigating at-home fertility tools, from ovulation tests to insemination kits, can be empowering but also incredibly emotional. The process might be surrounded by hope, but it’s also sprinkled with anxiety, doubt, and sometimes frustration. That’s where embracing the messy, emotional side becomes so vital.

Take, for example, the decision to try at-home insemination. For many, it’s a personal, private choice — one that involves learning, trial, and yes, sometimes failure before success. Companies like MakeAMom offer a lifeline here, providing reusable, discreet insemination kits tailored to different needs. From the CryoBaby kit designed for low-volume or frozen sperm, to BabyMaker for those with sensitivities, these tools help individuals and couples create their own path — outside of intimidating clinical settings.

But even with a 67% average success rate, as reported by MakeAMom, the journey isn’t just about numbers. It’s about how you feel during the process — the hope, the disappointment, the resilience.

Why Embracing Imperfection Can Improve Your Experience

So why talk about Lorde’s album while discussing fertility? Because her message of accepting emotional complexity is exactly what we need more of in this space.

• It’s OK to feel overwhelmed. Fertility struggles are deeply personal. There’s no “right” way to feel.
• Messiness is part of the process. Whether it’s juggling insemination timing or coping with unexpected results, imperfection means you’re human.
• You’re not alone. Many share this emotional landscape — sometimes just needing a song, a story, or a community to remind them of that.

How to Cultivate Emotional Resilience During Your Fertility Journey

Here are some ways I’ve found helpful to embrace the emotional ups and downs:

• Create a safe space to express feelings. Whether journaling, talking to friends, or even singing along to a raw album like Virgin, don’t bottle it up.
• Educate yourself about your options. Understanding tools like at-home insemination kits can reduce anxiety and increase empowerment.
• Celebrate small victories. Every step forward, from a proper ovulation test to a hopeful insemination attempt, deserves acknowledgment.

A Final Thought

Lorde’s Virgin reminds us that life’s messiness isn’t something to hide — it’s a powerful part of our stories. If your fertility journey feels complicated or unpredictable, remember that embracing those feelings can be a source of strength.

If you’re curious about at-home insemination kits and how they might fit into your own path, learning more from trusted sources like MakeAMom can be a game changer — offering not just products but also resources and support tailored for real-life challenges.

So, what’s your fertility story? How do you cope with the messy parts? Let’s open up this conversation and support each other through it — because nobody should have to face the emotional highs and lows alone.