FamilyFoundry

One moment, a family is forging memories on an adventure across continents. The next, everything changes in a heartbeat.

The recent BBC article about Sam Gardiner, the former Race Across the World contestant who tragically lost his life in a crash, is a stark, emotional reminder: our time with loved ones can be far shorter than we expect. Sam and his mum Jo captivated viewers during their 2020 appearance, their bond strengthened by shared challenges across unfamiliar terrain. Their story now prompts an urgent question: how do we create family bonds so strong that, even in the face of heartbreak, they endure and empower us?

Data Speaks: Why Family Resilience Matters More Than Ever

The zeitgeist of 2025 is filled with uncertainty. According to a recent Pew Research Center survey, more than 60% of families report feeling "less stable" today than five years ago. The surge of global mobility, delayed parenthood, and new family-building paths (think at-home conception, surrogacy, and adoption) are reshaping what "family" means—and how we make it resilient.

But when tragedy strikes, as it did for the Gardiner family, data shows the stakes: bereavement researchers have found that sudden loss can increase the risk of long-term psychological distress by 45%, especially when family ties are fragile or traditional support systems are lacking.

So, how can we intentionally build families that support, heal, and empower each other through the hardest moments?

Open Loop: Can Intentional Family Building Help Us Weather Life's Storms?

Let’s pause to examine a big shift: family formation is increasingly intentional—and that intentionality can foster remarkable resilience. For example, over 1 in 4 parents in Western countries now utilize alternative means to grow their family, whether through assisted reproduction, surrogacy, or adoption. This data-driven phenomenon isn’t just about technology; it’s about choice, agency, and emotional preparedness.

A 2019 longitudinal study from the University of Cambridge showed that families who actively participated in the creation process (whether through IVF, at-home insemination, or other options) reported higher rates of emotional cohesion and mutual support during crises. The very act of “making family” together—navigating uncertainty, planning, adapting—seems to build psychological infrastructure that endures.

The Science of Sharing: Why Meaningful Experiences Matter

Take the Gardiners. Their televised journey was more than entertainment; it was the documentation of a mother-son bond built through obstacles, detours, and victories. Research links such shared experiences to increased oxytocin levels (aka the "bonding hormone"), which strengthen feelings of trust and empathy within families.

Here’s a striking stat: families who regularly share new experiences—whether that's travel, collaborative projects, or even the shared vulnerability of trying to conceive—are 32% more likely to report feeling "very close" in Gallup's annual family well-being poll.

Grief and the Fertility Journey: Parallels and Lessons

The fertility path isn’t always smooth. Like the sudden heartbreak experienced by Jo Gardiner, many individuals and couples face moments of acute loss—miscarriage, failed cycles, or dashed hopes. It’s an emotional crucible that shapes not just who we are, but how we show up for our future family.

Tools and communities grounded in empathy can make all the difference here. Platforms like MakeAMom’s resource hub offer more than just practical support for conception—they foster knowledge-sharing, encourage open dialogue about loss, and build digital communities where authentic stories and struggles are recognized.

• Privacy and dignity: MakeAMom’s plain-packaged shipments and reusable kit designs reflect an understanding of how personal and vulnerable the fertility journey is.
• Evidence-based: Their 67% reported success rate isn’t just a marketing point—it’s a sign that intentional, science-backed family-building is accessible and effective for a growing population.
• Inclusivity: Catering to people with unique medical needs (such as vaginismus or sperm motility issues), MakeAMom’s approach underscores that every family is unique, and each deserves tailored care.

Strong Bonds From the Start: Actionable Strategies

So, if we want to build “crisis-proof” families, what does the research recommend?

• Prioritize Shared Experiences: Even small, everyday rituals can have an outsized impact—weekly check-ins, shared hobbies, or joint decision-making about big milestones.
• Embrace Vulnerability: Open communication about struggles (from loss to fertility challenges) is linked with stronger relational satisfaction.
• Leverage Community Resources: Whether it’s an online support group or expert guidance from digital platforms, don't go it alone. Data shows that families plugged into support networks recover from setbacks 40% faster on average.

Conclusion: Honoring Stories, Building Strength

The tragedy of Sam Gardiner’s passing is a sobering reminder: the family moments we cherish can be heartbreakingly fleeting. But each day, we have the power to cultivate bonds—through intentional creation, shared vulnerability, and community support—that will carry us through life’s inevitable storms.

How will you invest in your family's resilience today? Share your strategies, stories, or questions below—your insights might just be the lifeline another reader needs.

Life, Loss, and the Unseen Side of Family Building: Why No One Warns You This Will Happen

Take a deep breath with me. Now, imagine this: You’re on your family-building journey—maybe clutching a basal thermometer in one hand, a MakeAMom kit in the other, and hope (or is it anxiety?) in your chest. Suddenly, real life intrudes in the most devastating way.

This week, our hearts were cracked wide open by the story of Othniel Adoma, just eleven years old, whose life was tragically cut short after a minibus crash near Reading (read the full BBC article here). Communities gathered, candles flickered in the dusk, and parents everywhere silently asked themselves: How do we keep going when the unthinkable happens?

The Unspoken Truth: Grief and Family Planning Are Awkward Roommates

No one ever includes a chapter on “grieving while trying to conceive” in the baby books, do they? Society’s expectation: fertility journeys are all about positive vibes, “baby dust,” and pastel Instagram grids. Meanwhile, reality checks in wearing all black and asking if your tissues are nearby.

Honestly, can anyone Insta-filter the experience of loss—whether it’s a community tragedy like Othniel’s, a miscarriage, or the grief that shadows every negative pregnancy test?

But Wait—How Does This Affect Your Journey?

Here’s where it gets twisty: Grief and hope aren’t opposites. They’re more like siblings fighting in the back seat—loud, messy, and impossible to ignore. Maybe you’re grieving a lost pregnancy, or maybe the news of Othniel’s passing dredged up feelings you thought you’d neatly stuffed away. There’s no “right” timeline for your sadness, and no, you don’t have to “move on” before you move forward.

Juggling Loss and New Beginnings—Is It Even Possible?

Let’s be honest, society is terrible at holding space for complex emotions. Here’s what no one tells you:

• You can feel joy about an embryo transfer and sadness about a friend’s loss simultaneously.
• You are allowed to mourn and dream at the same time.
• There’s no emotional referee blowing a whistle if you’re ‘doing it wrong.’

(If you needed to hear that today, consider this your permission slip—signed, sealed, and delivered.)

Real Talk: How to Navigate the Emotional Chaos (Without Losing Your Mind)

Ok, you’re probably thinking, “So, what now? Can grief and hope actually coexist, or am I destined to spiral into a pint of dairy-free ice cream?”

Here’s what’s helped members of our FamilyFoundry community:

• Acknowledge your grief—don’t try to out-positive it. Light a candle, journal, or talk to someone who gets it.
• Lean on your people. Friends, forums, your group chat crew—don’t go it alone.
• Create rituals. Plant a flower, write a letter to your lost loved ones, set aside a day to remember.
• Give yourself permission to try again. Hope isn’t disrespectful to what you’ve lost—it’s a tribute.

Our sponsor, MakeAMom’s guides and resources offer not just practical steps for your at-home fertility process, but also nurture the emotional side of the journey. It’s not about selling you “positive vibes”—it’s about equipping you for the real, raw, whiplash-inducing ups and downs. Their support, like their discreet packaging, is there for you even when you feel unseen.

Why We Need to Talk About This—NOW

Tragedies like Othniel’s remind us: family is precious, life is unpredictable, and every journey—fertility or otherwise—winds through joy and sorrow. If you’re feeling the weight of recent events as you try to build your family, you are not alone.

Let’s Make Space for Both

So, where does that leave us? Right here, in this beautifully complicated both/and: grieving and growing, remembering and hoping, crying and laughing at the chaos.

If today is a hard day, know that this community—and resources like those at MakeAMom—are here to catch you. If you need to talk, share your story, or cry a little, our comments are open. How are you navigating loss and hope on your family-building journey?

Drop your thoughts below—and let’s make sure no one travels this path alone.