The Surprising Conversation Every Family Should Have Before Trying to Conceive—And Why We’re Avoiding It

Let’s be honest: who wants to talk about wills, estate plans, or “what ifs” right when you’re about to bring new life into the world?

If you’re like me, the answer is... absolutely not. It feels a little taboo, maybe even a tiny bit morbid. But after reading Casey Cohen’s honest recount in Business Insider, I couldn’t get the idea out of my head: what if the most loving thing you can do for your future family is to have these conversations before you even conceive?

The Real Reason We Avoid “What If” Talks

Let’s put it on the table: talking about what happens after we’re gone is uncomfortable—especially when you’re still in the “What should we name our baby?” phase. There’s so much hope, excitement, and Pinterest nursery boards swirling around that the last thing you want to do is bring in a lawyer or discuss guardianship.

I get it. My partner and I spent months researching at-home insemination kits, comparing reviews on FamilyFoundry (shameless plug), and timing everything with military precision. But estate planning? We never gave it a second thought—until a friend shared a horror story about legal battles no parent ever wants to think about. Suddenly, our to-do list got a little longer.

Why This Conversation Is Non-Negotiable

Casey Cohen, CMO of The Estate Registry, started prepping his daughter early. He made estate planning sound non-morbid and approachable—something I admire but, honestly, never considered. His story made me realize: planning for the worst doesn’t mean you’re pessimistic; it means you’re protecting your child from chaos.

There’s a weird myth that you only need to worry about these things once you’re flush with assets, or once your kids are old enough to ask about life insurance. But for those of us on the fertility journey—especially anyone using donor sperm, at-home insemination kits, or co-parenting with a non-traditional family structure—this stuff matters now more than ever.

What’s at Stake When You’re Building Your Family in 2025

Let’s quickly break down what you actually need to think about, especially if you’re using at-home fertility products or alternative conception methods:

• Parental Rights: Who is legally recognized as your child’s parent? This is vital for LGBTQ+ families, single parents by choice, or anyone using a donor.
• Guardianship: If something happens to you (or you and your partner), who takes care of your child?
• Inheritance & Benefits: Do you want your child to be protected financially, even if your assets are minimal?
• Medical Decisions: Who’s authorized to make medical decisions for your child in an emergency?

Not as easy as picking out a crib, but way more important. And the truth is, laws can be fuzzy when it comes to families created outside the traditional mold.

How to Start the Tough Talk Without the Doom & Gloom

Here’s where Casey’s approach is genius: he talks about things like estate plans with his child as a part of loving, everyday life. No heavy gloom. No legalese monologues. Just honesty, reassurance, and making sure his daughter knows she’s safe. Can we borrow this mindset for the fertility journey?

What if you framed these conversations as part of the excitement of building your family, not as an anxious footnote? Try this:

• Make it casual: “Hey, if something weird ever happens, we’ve set things up so you’ll always be okay.”
• Involve your support network: Trusted friends, siblings, or parents can become guardians—have a group chat to break the ice together.
• Consult experts: Many modern fertility resources, like this approachable guide to at-home conception, include information about documentation, donor agreements, and resources for protecting legal rights—without overwhelming you.
• Write down your wishes: Even a simple letter or shared document is a great first step. You don’t have to hire a lawyer tomorrow (unless you want to!).

Why It’s Doubly Important for At-Home Conception

Fertility journeys today are more personal, more diverse, and—let’s be real—a little more complicated than ever. If you’re using at-home options like those from MakeAMom, you’re already taking control of your family-building narrative. Kits like CryoBaby (for low-volume or frozen sperm), Impregnator (for low motility sperm), and BabyMaker (for those with sensitivities) are empowering people to conceive on their own terms.

But when you’re doing something outside the “norm,” it’s so important to make sure the legal side keeps pace with your family plans. MakeAMom’s resources on safe, private, and well-documented at-home insemination are a great example of how today’s companies aren’t just about the practical side—they care about the bigger picture for your future family.

Let’s Make It Normal (And Maybe Even a Little Empowering)

Here’s my challenge: let’s normalize these conversations. Just like we’re open about fertility struggles, ovulation tracking, and choosing the right insemination method, let’s be real about legal and ethical planning. By talking early—before pregnancy, before the paperwork piles up—we protect the family we’re working so hard to build.

So, are you ready to have the “just in case” talk with your partner, donor, or support person? What would make this easier for you? Share your thoughts in the comments—or, if you’ve already gone through it, tell us what you wish you’d done differently!

Because protecting the future of your family is just as important as creating it. 🧡