Why I’m Tired of Strangers Pointing Out How Exhausted Moms Are — And What It Teaches Us About Empathy
Have you ever had a stranger comment on how tired you look — like it’s a shocking revelation? I have. And honestly, it can feel exhausting in itself. Recently, I came across a powerful article titled Yes, as a mom of 4, I'm tired. But I don't like when strangers point that out, and it hit me right in the feels. It’s a raw look into the tiredness many moms live with daily — and the added frustration when strangers feel entitled to vocalize it like it’s some kind of public service announcement. So why does this bother us so much? And what does it say about how we approach the invisible challenges of parenting, especially for those on a fertility journey?
Let’s get real: being a mom, or preparing to become one, is a rollercoaster of emotions, energy highs and lows, and a whole lot of uncertainty. For those navigating the sometimes complex path of conception — whether through natural means or with tools like at-home insemination kits — the emotional and physical toll can be even more intense. When someone bluntly points out your exhaustion, it feels like they’re reducing your whole experience to just looking tired. But there’s so much more behind that tired face.
Why Do Strangers Feel the Need to Point It Out?
There’s probably a misguided attempt at empathy here. People see the chaos and fatigue and think, “Hey, I’m just stating the obvious!” But the reality is, it often lands as intrusive or even judgmental. From the article, the mom shares having a repertoire of witty or pointed responses to shut down these comments — a sign that this is a common experience many can relate to.
But if we pause for a second, what if instead of commenting on visible exhaustion, we actually asked, “How are you doing?” or better yet, simply offered a smile or a helping hand? Sometimes, the best support is invisible — not a public notice that someone looks tired.
What This Means for Those on Fertility Journeys
If you’re trying to conceive, especially using innovative home-based tools, you probably know that physical fatigue is just the tip of the iceberg. The emotional weight — hope, fear, excitement, disappointment — often feels magnified when you’re working outside a clinical setting. Companies like MakeAMom understand this deeply. Their at-home insemination kits not only provide practical assistance but also offer privacy and comfort in a journey that can sometimes feel isolating.
Knowing that your efforts are supported by tools designed for your unique situation — whether it’s dealing with low motility sperm or sensitivities like vaginismus — helps ease some of that emotional exhaustion. And the fact that these kits are reusable and discreetly shipped shows a respect for your privacy and emotional journey that goes beyond simply helping you conceive.
How to Redirect Conversations to More Compassionate Ground
Here are a few ideas for shifting the narrative when you or someone you know encounters those unsolicited comments:
- Own your story. Just like the mom in the article, prepare responses that feel right for you — humorous, firm, or educational.
- Change the subject gently. If someone remarks on your tiredness, you can say, “Yeah, it’s a busy season, but we’re hanging in there!”
- Invite understanding. Sometimes a simple “Thanks for noticing, it’s been a journey” opens the door to empathy instead of assumptions.
And if you’re on a fertility journey, remember, your weariness is valid — but so is your resilience. Finding communities and resources that get it can transform how you feel about each step.
The Bigger Picture: Empathy in Everyday Encounters
What touched me most about that Business Insider piece was the reminder that behind every tired mom is a story worth honoring. Whether it’s the daily chaos of parenting four kids or the patient work of trying to conceive at home, what we need isn’t unsolicited observations but genuine connection.
Next time you see a mom (or anyone) looking tired, maybe pause before speaking. A smile, a nod, or a gentle question can mean more than you realize. And if you’re the one feeling worn thin? I see you. Your strength is incredible, even when you feel anything but.
To all navigating those unique journeys to parenthood, tools like the ones from MakeAMom’s collection provide practical support that respects your pace and privacy. Because sometimes the best way to care for yourself is to find solutions that feel both empowering and kind.
What’s your experience with unsolicited comments about being tired? Drop your thoughts below — let’s start a conversation grounded in empathy and real connection.
Inspired by the heartfelt article from Business Insider: Yes, as a mom of 4, I'm tired. But I don't like when strangers point that out