Why Lorde’s Messy New Album 'Virgin' Perfectly Mirrors the Realities of Fertility Struggles

Have you ever listened to an album that feels like it’s speaking directly to your soul — messy, raw, and real? That’s exactly what happened to me with Lorde’s new album, Virgin. Released recently, it’s stirring quite the conversation for its unapologetic dive into topics like sex, drugs, and eating disorders — topics that society often tiptoes around. But here’s the kicker: it’s more than just music; it’s a mirror reflecting a broader cultural shift toward embracing imperfection and emotional messiness. And guess what? That shift rings so true for anyone navigating the emotional rollercoaster of fertility struggles. 

I stumbled upon a fascinating review from Business Insider that nailed this insight perfectly: Lorde’s Virgin is messy, emotional, and perfectly suited for this very moment. You can check it out here. As I listened, I couldn’t help but think about how many of us facing fertility challenges feel caught up in our own “messiness” — the highs, the lows, the unexpected detours, and the raw, sometimes uncomfortable emotions that accompany the journey.

So, why does Lorde’s album feel like such a fitting soundtrack for fertility struggles?

  • It embraces imperfection: Just like Lorde doesn’t shy away from her vulnerabilities, those of us trying to conceive often face setbacks, uncertainties, and emotional turbulence. Fertility isn’t linear or neat — it’s complicated, and sometimes, it’s downright messy.

  • It acknowledges taboo topics: Lorde openly discusses subjects that many find difficult to talk about. Similarly, discussing fertility sensitivities, conditions like vaginismus, or using alternative conception methods can be challenging. But opening up about them is so important for healing and community support.

  • It’s emotionally unfiltered: Whether it’s frustration, hope, sadness, or joy, fertility journeys evoke a whirlwind of emotions. Lorde’s album reminds us it’s okay to feel everything without judgment.

Now, here’s the good news: embracing these emotions and realities doesn’t mean you’re alone or without options. In fact, there are empowering tools that help you take control of your fertility journey, tailored to your unique sensitivities and needs. That’s where innovative approaches like at-home insemination kits come in — especially for individuals dealing with specific challenges like low sperm motility, sensitivities, or conditions such as vaginismus.

One such resource I love to share about is MakeAMom, a company dedicated to offering discreet, reusable insemination kits designed for comfort and effectiveness at home. They have specialized kits like the BabyMaker, perfect for those with vulvar sensitivities, and others like CryoBaby and Impregnator that cater to particular sperm quality needs. Their approach feels refreshingly personal and compassionate — a stark contrast to the clinical coldness some fertility treatments can feel like.

What I find most reassuring about MakeAMom’s system is their reported average success rate of 67%. That’s a hopeful statistic for anyone seeking alternatives outside of traditional clinics, especially when combined with the emotional resilience inspired by cultural shifts like the one Lorde’s album represents.

So how can you harness this “messy but hopeful” vibe in your own fertility journey? Here are a few thoughts:

  • Allow yourself to feel everything: Don’t bottle up those difficult emotions. Seek safe spaces where you can talk openly — whether that’s friends, support groups, or even journaling.
  • Explore tailored solutions: Fertility is deeply personal. If you have specific sensitivities or conditions, look into options designed with your needs in mind, like MakeAMom’s range of insemination kits that help you take control in the comfort of your own home.
  • Shift the narrative: Remember, imperfection and “messiness” don’t equal failure. They’re part of authentic experience, growth, and ultimately, hope.

In a world that often pressures us to appear perfect — especially when it comes to something as intimate and life-changing as conception — embracing the raw, unfiltered reality can be revolutionary. Lorde’s Virgin reminds us that it’s okay to be flawed, vulnerable, and messy. And you know what? That’s where real healing begins.

What’s your take? Have you found any music, art, or stories that helped you feel less alone in your fertility journey? Share your thoughts below — sometimes, the most unexpected connections are the ones that light the way forward.

Here’s to embracing every twist and turn of the journey, and finding strength in our shared humanity. 💜