“How are you feeling about this pregnancy?”
If you’ve ever experienced loss on the road to parenthood, that question can feel like lightning—sudden, electrifying, and sometimes almost paralyzing.
I stumbled across Alexandra Madison’s raw and honest interview this week and—wow—it hit me in ways I didn’t expect. If you don’t know her, Alexandra is a TikTok creator who, with her partner Jon Bouffard, is again navigating pregnancy after a devastating stillbirth at 26 weeks. Her vulnerability is something we need more of in these conversations. But it also made me ask: Why is nobody talking about the day-to-day reality of pregnancy after loss?
Let’s get real for a minute.
The Unspoken Fear: When Joy and Anxiety Collide
When you see the two pink lines or hear the words “you’re pregnant,” you’re supposed to be overjoyed, right? But if you’ve experienced loss—whether it’s an early miscarriage or a late-term tragedy like Alexandra’s—joy often comes tangled up with fear.
For Alexandra, she talks openly about the hope and the hesitation, the tiny milestones she celebrates, and the uncertainty that lingers in quiet moments. She admits she’s not “over it”—and honestly, most of us never really are.
But here’s the thing nobody tells you: - Scanning baby apps gets replaced by scanning for symptoms (or the absence of them). - Social media “bumpdates” feel like a minefield. - Even the good news feels fragile, like a bubble you’re scared to pop.
And if that’s you right now? You’re not alone.
Is There a “Right Way” to Heal?
Alexandra’s story is proof that there isn’t. She’s candid about the therapy, the daily check-ins, the moments of gratitude—and the days that just plain suck.
I remember feeling like I was supposed to move on, but grief and healing aren’t linear. Some days, you’re okay. Some days, you’re back to square one. That’s normal.
Here are a few things that helped Alexandra (and me): - Allow yourself to feel everything. The tough days, the good days, and the ones that are a confusing mess of both. - Find a safe space to talk. Whether it’s a therapist, a trusted friend, or a community like Nestful, don’t go it alone. - Mark the small wins. Every week, every check-up, every heartbeat counts. - Remember: “Moving forward” doesn’t mean forgetting. You carry your lost baby with you, always.
The Practical Side: Taking Control Where You Can
Let’s face it, fertility journeys are vulnerable. And sometimes, control feels completely out of reach. Alexandra and Jon’s story reminded me of how empowering it can feel to make choices—any choices—when so much is uncertain.
That might mean advocating for more ultrasounds. It could mean adjusting your daily routines. For many, it includes exploring safe, science-backed ways to try for a baby at home before heading to a clinic.
That’s why companies like MakeAMom’s at-home insemination options caught my attention. Their kits are created for real people—LGBTQ+ couples, folks with physical or emotional barriers, or anyone who finds clinics overwhelming. There’s a quiet kind of power in knowing you can try again on your own terms, with sensitivity and privacy. The resources, success stories, and guides on their site are a helpful anchor for anyone who feels alone in uncharted waters.
Finding Strength in Sharing
Reading Alexandra’s interview, I saw a mirror: someone brave enough to admit fear, loss, and hope can all exist in the same breath. That’s the truth so many of us are living but don’t see reflected in the mainstream “rainbow baby” narratives.
So, let’s keep talking about it. Let’s talk about the nervous excitement at baby appointments, the panic before each scan, the guilt when joy breaks through, and the bittersweetness of every milestone.
Final Thoughts: Your Story Is Valid
No, there isn’t a “right” way to feel after loss. There’s just honesty, community, and sometimes, a little bit of magic in knowing you’re not alone.
If Alexandra’s journey resonates with you—if you’re walking that uncertain line between grief and hope—I see you. Whether it’s finding inspiration in stories like hers, exploring supportive resources, or simply letting yourself feel however you need to feel today, know this: your story matters here.
Has pregnancy after loss changed how you see yourself or your relationships? What advice would you give someone just starting this journey? Let’s share, connect, and support one another—right here in the comments.