Have you ever walked into a doctor's office, listed your symptoms, and walked out with more questions than answers? If you’re on any part of a fertility or pregnancy journey, you probably know this feeling all too well.
This week, I stumbled across a gut-wrenching story that stopped me in my tracks: A young woman was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at 31—after her doctors dismissed her symptoms as 'just pregnancy issues'. Despite being active, fit, and healthy, her legitimate pain and concerns were brushed aside until things were critical. Sound familiar?
Why Does This Keep Happening?
Let’s be real—so many of us have been there. The exhaustion, the bloating, the strange pains: all written off as "pregnancy symptoms" or "hormonal changes." And yes, for many, these really are just part of the ride. But what if they’re not?
Here’s the thing: there’s a huge overlap between fertility, early pregnancy, and other medical symptoms. When you’re trying to conceive, every twinge, cramp, or wave of nausea becomes something to overanalyze. But our healthcare system still has a habit of minimizing those concerns—especially for women and queer folks on alternative family-building paths.
Have you ever…
- Been told “it’s just stress” when you know it’s something more?
- Felt like your provider wasn’t really listening, or was too quick to blame hormones?
- Wondered if your body is betraying you, or if you’re just being dramatic?
If you’re nodding, you’re so not alone. After reading the Yahoo story, I realized just how dangerous these assumptions can be.
My Own Wake-Up Call
Last year, I was using the MakeAMom at-home insemination kit and riding the emotional rollercoaster of tracking every possible "symptom." I had cramping that wasn’t like my usual PMS, but my doctor shrugged it off. “Probably early pregnancy, or maybe just stress,” he said with a smile.
Spoiler: It wasn’t either. It turned out to be an ovarian cyst—manageable, but only after I insisted on an ultrasound. If I hadn’t spoken up (loudly), who knows how long I would’ve been in pain?
The Blurry Lines: Fertility, Pregnancy, and Medical Gaslighting
This isn’t about blaming doctors—many truly care. The real issue is a system that normalizes dismissing patient concerns, especially when you’re trying to conceive or are newly pregnant. Hormonal changes can mask or mimic more serious issues:
- Cancer symptoms: Like in the Yahoo article, colon cancer and other cancers can look like pregnancy or period woes.
- PCOS, endometriosis, or cysts: Pain, bloat, nausea. Easy to write off as “normal.”
- Thyroid or autoimmune disorders: Fatigue, mood swings, unexplained weight changes.
No one wants to be “that patient,” but sometimes being persistent is a lifesaver.
What Can You Do?
1. Trust your gut. You know your body better than anyone—don’t let anyone talk you out of your own concern.
2. Keep records. Jot down symptoms, dates, and what you’re experiencing. When you see your provider, you’ll have concrete data to share.
3. Ask for specifics. If you’re brushed off, ask, “What else could this be? When should I worry?”
4. Get a second opinion. If you don’t feel heard, you deserve another provider’s eyes on your case—no apologies necessary.
5. Find your tribe. Communities like Nestful and compassionate resources like the MakeAMom knowledge base can connect you to others who’ve walked this path and can offer practical advice and moral support.
Why We Have to Speak Up (Even When It’s Uncomfortable)
If you’re using at-home insemination, navigating failed cycles, or adjusting to the endless “two week wait,” you’re juggling a lot already. But your physical and emotional health come first—always.
I know pursuing alternative family-building can feel isolating or like you’re doing something “unusual.” That’s why supportive, judgment-free products (like the discreet, reusable MakeAMom kits) and communities are so vital in 2025. They empower us to own our journeys—and our healthcare conversations.
The Bottom Line: Your Concerns Deserve Attention
The harrowing story of a 31-year-old being ignored until it was almost too late is a haunting reminder: You are NOT overreacting. Your voice matters.
Whether you’re hoping for your first positive test, growing your family, or just trying to figure out what your body is telling you, don’t let anyone dismiss your pain or your hope. Be “that patient.” Ask the hard questions. And remember, you’re not alone—ever.
What’s your story? Have you ever had symptoms ignored during your fertility or pregnancy journey? Share in the comments—your experience could help someone else get the care they need.