Have you ever wanted something so badly—only to be met with raised eyebrows and awkward silences?
A few days ago, I read Chelsea Pitman’s heartfelt story about her fertility journey as a coach in elite sport. It hit me right in the gut. Here’s a top-level athlete, fierce and focused, who still gets judged for daring to want a baby. It made me realize: we’ve come a long way, but when it comes to fertility, so many of us are still playing defense against stigma.
The Game Nobody Talks About
Here’s the play-by-play: You start thinking about starting a family. Maybe you’re a career-driven woman, like Chelsea. Or maybe you’re part of a same-sex couple. Or perhaps you’re just not following the “traditional” timeline. In an ideal world, your loved ones would be cheering from the sidelines. But in reality? There’s this weird hush—as if wanting to be a parent is some kind of secret strategy you shouldn’t admit to.
Why is it—even in 2025, when TikTok is full of fertility vlogs and IVF hashtags are trending—so many of us feel judged for wanting a baby?
Chelsea’s words about feeling isolated in her ambition to become both a coach and a mom really struck home. She opened up: “Pregnancy and motherhood should not be taboo in sport.” But it’s not just in sport, is it? Mothers and parents-to-be, in every field, still feel pressure to keep their hopes and struggles hidden away.
My Not-So-Secret Confession
Reading Chelsea’s story brought back a flood of memories from my own journey. There was the time I mentioned considering at-home insemination at a family dinner—cue the silence (and someone quickly changing the subject to weather). Or the “helpful” advice from friends who thought they were being supportive but actually made me feel othered: “But you’re so busy! Are you sure this is the right time?”
If you’ve felt this kind of judgment, trust me, you’re not alone.
Stigma Is Still the Opponent
Let’s get real: the stigma around fertility challenges and non-traditional conception is alive and well, even now. Some of the most common “fouls” parents-to-be face include:
- Being questioned about your priorities. (“Won’t this hurt your career?”)
- Judgment for non-clinical fertility choices. (Like using an at-home insemination kit—more on that in a sec!)
- Assumptions about gender roles. (“Shouldn’t your partner be more involved?”)
- Outright dismissals of fertility struggles as ‘overthinking.’
It’s no wonder so many of us keep our journeys under wraps. But what happens when we do? We miss out on support, understanding, and the chance to normalize every kind of path to parenthood.
Breaking the Silence: What Can We Do?
Let’s go back to Chelsea’s powerful call: “I want mums on my team.” That’s not just about sports, it’s about all of us. We need more spaces where talking about fertility isn’t taboo, where support is the norm, and where every journey—whether easy or hard—is treated with respect.
Here’s how we can start changing the game:
- Share your story, if you’re ready. Vulnerability is contagious, and you never know who needs to hear your experience.
- Challenge outdated attitudes, even if it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes, the stigma lives in our own heads as much as in others’ words.
- Seek out communities and resources that make you feel less alone—online or IRL. (That’s what Nestful is all about, honestly.)
Tools for the Journey—And Why They Matter
One thing I wish more people talked about? Just how many options are out there now for people trying to conceive. Not every journey to parenthood needs to start in a clinic (or cost a fortune, for that matter). Companies like MakeAMom’s at-home insemination kits are changing the game for couples and individuals who want privacy, flexibility, and support—whether you’re dealing with low motility sperm, sensitivity issues, or just want a judgment-free experience in your own home.
And let’s get this straight: choosing what works for you—whether that’s a reusable kit, IVF, adoption, or another route—shouldn’t be something you have to justify to anyone.
Why Stories Like Chelsea’s Matter… and Yours Does Too
Chelsea Pitman’s decision to speak up isn’t just brave—it’s a game-changer. Every time someone shares their experience, it chips away at the old taboos. The more we talk, the more we normalize the idea that wanting to be a parent (in any way that fits your life) is not just “okay”—it’s powerful.
So, here’s your locker room pep talk: If you’ve felt judged, isolated, or just plain confused on your fertility journey, you’re not alone. There are teams—literal and figurative—out there who want to support you. Find your people. Share your truth. And don’t let anyone put you on the bench for wanting a family.
What’s the biggest myth or judgement you’ve faced in your own journey? Let’s swap stories below—because the more we share, the stronger our team becomes. 🏆