Picture this: You’re at brunch with your besties, talking about everything from your new plant obsession to the latest episode of whatever dystopian dating show has taken over the internet. Someone asks, “Have you ever thought about what you’d do if you couldn’t have kids the ‘traditional’ way?” The table goes silent. Suddenly, invisible cringe sweeps the room—because, let’s be honest, most of us are taught to avoid “awkward” topics like fertility, planning for the future, or, heaven forbid, what happens if our big life plans take a detour.
But what if I told you that talking openly about fertility isn’t just not morbid—it’s actually a radical act of self-care?
Breaking the Taboo: What Estate Planning Taught Me About Reproductive Choices
I recently stumbled across a refreshingly honest Business Insider article by Casey Cohen, who works for an estate planning company. In it, Casey explains how he started talking to his daughter about his estate plan—while she was still in elementary school! Instead of making the subject off-limits or weirdly morose, Casey found ways to weave these conversations into everyday life, making them feel natural, necessary, and even empowering.
It made me pause and think: Why don’t we take the same approach when it comes to talking about fertility?
The Myth of the “Perfect Time” (Spoiler: It Doesn’t Exist)
Here’s the thing—most of us are waiting for the “right moment” to talk about our hopes, fears, and options for having kids. Maybe you’re putting it off until you meet “the one,” get that promotion, or finally learn how to fold a fitted sheet (don’t worry, I’m still working on that too). But life throws curveballs, and if the last few years have taught us anything, it’s that waiting for the “perfect” time is a fast lane to never getting started at all.
So, what can we do instead?
1. Normalize the Conversation
Start small. Ask your friends if they’ve thought about freezing eggs or using donor sperm. Bring up articles you’ve read (like Casey’s story) to gently open the door. The more you talk, the less awkward it becomes.
2. Get Practical About Your Options
Just like with estate planning, knowing your choices before you need them makes all the difference. There are loads of new, approachable ways to take charge of your fertility journey right at home—no white coats or complicated medical jargon required.
One resource I found invaluable: this no-pressure guide to at-home insemination. Companies like MakeAMom have created reusable, privacy-focused insemination kits so people can chart their path to parenthood on their own terms. Their kits are even tailored for different needs—low sperm count? Check. Sensitivities? Yup. Everything comes in plain packaging and the average success rate is higher than you’d probably guess. (And trust me, if you’re researching fertility options, you want plain packaging.)
3. Embrace the Awkward—It Gets Easier
Let’s be real: the first time you bring up wanting kids with a partner, a friend, or even with yourself, it might feel a little vulnerable (or straight-up terrifying). But here’s a secret—everyone feels that way at first. Like estate talks, these conversations create space for honesty, planning, and, ultimately, peace of mind.
Some Conversation Starters To Try:
- “I read this story about someone preparing for their future with their kid, and it made me think—what would my plan look like?”
- “Have you ever thought about how you’d want to build a family? What options would you consider?”
- “Did you know at-home insemination kits are actually becoming super common? I found out there’s a kit for almost every scenario.”
What Happens If You Put It Off?
Let’s circle back to that brunch table. The silence, the unease. Avoidance doesn’t protect us—it just pushes the tough stuff to “someday,” where dreams gather dust and options quietly disappear. You deserve better than that.
Here’s what I’ve learned: open, pragmatic conversations about fertility are a gift to your future self. Whether you’re single, queer, partnered, in your 20s or nearing 40, there’s so much power in planning on your own terms. And with all the advances in at-home solutions, you’re not stuck with outdated, one-size-fits-all choices.
The Bottom Line: Plan, Don’t Panic
If Casey Cohen can make talking about estate planning with his daughter an act of love rather than dread, we can do the same when it comes to building our families. Prep isn’t pessimism—it’s self-respect and hope in action.
And the best part? You’re not alone. Resources like the MakeAMom website offer not just products, but stories, tips, and support for every step of your journey. So, let’s start normalizing these chats, get comfortable with the “weird,” and keep our options wide open.
What’s the real cost of waiting? Let’s talk about it—drop your thoughts, questions, or that one burning what-if in the comments below. Because the most life-changing choices start with a single, honest conversation.