Have you ever felt totally unprepared for something everyone said was ‘natural’ and ‘beautiful’? That was me when I first read Hannah Dobro’s epic BuzzFeed article, 36 Extremely Important But Not Often Discussed Things They Should Really, REALLY Tell You About Pregnancy And Childbirth Before You Go Through With It. From the moment she described feeling like her organs were falling out after standing up post-birth, I knew this was a reality many of us shy away from sharing.

Pregnancy and childbirth — these life-altering experiences — are often wrapped in a veil of Instagram-perfect belly shots and glowing announcements. But what about the raw, uncomfortable, and downright tough parts? The truth is, whether you’re on a traditional path to parenthood or exploring alternatives like at-home insemination, surrogacy, or adoption, understanding the full picture matters.

So, why aren’t these truths talked about more?

Part of it is society’s desire to protect feelings or maintain ideals. Then there’s the medical field’s focus on the clinical and physical outcomes rather than the emotional rollercoaster. But more than anything, it’s the stigma around discussing vulnerability, especially in pregnancy.

Reading through Dobro’s article, I kept thinking — if we knew all this before embarking on our journeys, how would that change our expectations? How would it shape our preparations? For many trying to conceive through non-traditional means, the path is already filled with uncertainty. Layering on unspoken struggles adds to the emotional weight.

Here’s a reality check for anyone on alternative parenthood journeys:

  • Physical recovery can be brutal. The aftermath of childbirth or insemination isn’t always gentle. For example, the CryoBaby and Impregnator kits used for at-home insemination can bring hope and comfort, but it’s crucial to consult healthcare providers for guidance on what to expect physically and emotionally.

  • Emotional highs and lows are normal—but often surprising. Joy, fear, excitement, anxiety, and disappointment often collide, sometimes all in one day. Sharing these emotions with supportive communities or counseling professionals can make a huge difference.

  • Privacy matters, but so does support. Many turn to discreet options like kits from MakeAMom—a company specializing in at-home insemination with kits that are reusable, cost-effective, and shipped with privacy in mind. They offer real solutions that respect the sensitive nature of this journey.

  • Information is power. Knowing about conditions like vaginismus or sperm motility challenges—and having tools like the BabyMaker and Impregnator kits—can help people feel more in control rather than helpless.

  • The success rate is promising but requires patience. MakeAMom reports an average 67% success rate with their home insemination kits, showing that these alternatives are not just dreams but viable options supported by science and innovation.

But where do you find community and honest conversation?

That’s the golden question. Articles like Dobro’s open the door, helping to normalize the unseen struggles of pregnancy and childbirth. Meanwhile, communities centered around alternative parenthood provide the space to share personal stories, swap advice, and find empathy.

If you’re considering or actively using alternatives like home insemination, surrogacy, or adoption, don’t underestimate the power of preparation. Read extensively. Connect with others. Know that feeling overwhelmed doesn’t mean you aren’t strong or capable.

What can you do now?

  • Educate yourself fully. Take time to explore resources—like the detailed guidance and testimonials on MakeAMom’s website—to understand the tools available and realistic expectations.

  • Seek emotional support early. Whether through online communities, therapy, or close friends, having a support system helps enormously.

  • Be kind to yourself. Every journey is unique. What you feel is valid, even if it’s complicated or unexpected.

  • Ask the hard questions. What isn’t being said about your chosen path? What challenges might lie ahead? Preparing answers can empower you.

In the end, the biggest takeaway?**

Parenthood, especially through alternative avenues, is a complex, courageous journey. It’s filled with moments of joy and moments of struggle. By embracing authenticity—sharing the good, the bad, and the surprising—you’re not just preparing yourself; you’re helping build a more honest, supportive community for everyone reaching toward creating families their own way.

So, what’s your story? What’s one truth about your journey to parenthood you wish more people understood? Share below — let’s break the silence together.

Read the original full list of hidden truths in Hannah Dobro’s eye-opening article on BuzzFeed here.