Ever felt like you’re stuck in a life stage where you’re unsure of your purpose? Maybe it’s retirement, or maybe it’s the challenging journey of building a family through unconventional means. Liana Finck’s witty column “Dear Pepper: All the World’s a Life Stage” in The New Yorker perfectly captures this universal feeling of uncertainty and questioning our worth. But what if there’s a powerful lesson in this vulnerability that applies just as much to those exploring alternative pathways to parenthood?

If you haven’t read it yet, the article humorously explores the struggle retirees face in feeling productive or useful anymore. But it’s not just retirees who wrestle with these questions — anyone transitioning through a significant life change can relate. Alternative parenthood, with its unique challenges and emotional rollercoasters, often leaves people feeling lost or unsure about their next steps.

So, how can we flip this narrative? How do we rediscover purpose when the roadmap seems unclear?

Life is a series of stages — all equally meaningful

Just like retirement marks the end of a career chapter but the start of a new adventure, embarking on the journey of alternative parenthood is a leap into unknown but hopeful territory. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, whether you’re navigating IVF, insemination, surrogacy, or adoption. But embracing the idea that every stage of life holds unique value can shift your mindset from frustration to empowerment.

The power of reimagining productivity and purpose

Feeling useful doesn’t have to mean following traditional scripts. The folks at MakeAMom, for example, specialize in empowering people like you to take control at home, offering insemination kits designed for all sorts of circumstances — from low motility sperm to sensitivities like vaginismus. Their approach isn’t about clinical coldness but about nurturing hope, possibility, and your personal journey at your own pace.

This kind of empowerment—being able to safely and privately manage conception at home—reshapes what productivity looks like. It’s not about rushing but about investing in your dreams, however complex the road may be.

When feeling unproductive means you’re on the cusp of a breakthrough

Sometimes, feeling stuck or useless is just a sign you’re bracing for a massive transformation. Parenthood, especially through alternative routes, isn’t linear. It’s filled with setbacks, emotional highs and lows, and periods of patience. But remember, these moments are the fertile ground for growth.

Think of the average 67% success rate reported by MakeAMom clients as a beacon of encouragement. Each attempt is progress, each ‘failure’ a step closer to your goal. Celebrate the courage it takes to try again and again. Your journey matters deeply.

How to embrace your current life stage and fuel your hope

  • Acknowledge your feelings: It’s okay to feel lost or unproductive. That’s human.
  • Redefine your purpose: Purpose comes in many forms — nurturing yourself, learning, connecting with others.
  • Seek communities that get you: Surround yourself with stories and support from people on similar paths.
  • Use tools designed for you: Whether it’s home insemination kits or other resources, choose options that empower your unique needs.
  • Celebrate small wins: Every step forward is progress, no matter how small.

The takeaway? Life’s transitions, whether retirement or alternative parenthood, are not ends — they’re beginnings.

You’re not alone in questioning your place or worth. And sometimes, the greatest breakthroughs come from embracing uncertainty with hope and resilience. Your stage of life, however unexpected, holds boundless potential.

If you’re exploring ways to build your family on your own terms, check out insightful resources like MakeAMom’s home insemination kits — they’re designed with real people’s challenges in mind, offering practical, cost-effective solutions that honor your journey.

Curious about how others have rewritten their narratives around parenthood and purpose? What’s one surprising lesson you’ve learned in your journey? Share your story — because every life stage is a stage worth shining on.