relationship-health

Let’s get real for a second—when most of us dream about building a family, we imagine joy, hope, and maybe a few nervous laughs about baby names. But these days, there’s a growing, quieter story playing out in bedrooms and living rooms across America, and it’s not the one that gets told in Hallmark commercials.

Just last week, I stumbled across a new study—featured in Time Magazine—that gave me serious pause. According to the research, intimate partner violence is on the rise in states where abortion access is restricted or requires long-distance travel. It's as if the already-difficult journey of family planning suddenly gained new, invisible hurdles.

But why is this happening—and what does it mean for those of us on our own fertility journeys?

When Private Choices Become Public Battles

Imagine you and your partner making one of the most intimate decisions of your lives, only to find the entire landscape shifting beneath your feet. That’s what’s happening in places with severe abortion bans. Suddenly, reproductive choices that once felt personal and private become complicated by politics, distance, and (sometimes) heart-stopping legal fears.

The study cited in Time found a direct link: as abortion becomes harder to access, relationship violence goes up. The data is clear, but the emotional weight behind it is harder to measure. For some couples, the stress of navigating these restrictions can take a serious toll, leading to arguments, resentment, and—in too many cases—harmful behaviors.

So, what can we do when the rules change, but our desire to build a happy, healthy family doesn’t?

The Silent Ripple: How Restrictions Shift the Conversation at Home

I’ve heard it in my own circle: the whispered worries, the late-night conversations, the “what ifs” that never used to hover overhead. For anyone trying to get pregnant (or even just thinking about it), the pressure has quietly intensified.

Here are just a few ways these policies cause ripple effects in real relationships:

• Increased Anxiety: Couples suddenly feel less secure about their options in case of complications or surprises.
• Communication Breakdowns: One partner may want to “just get started,” while another feels hesitant—leading to tension.
• Heightened Risks for the Vulnerable: Those already experiencing coercion or control in their relationship may feel even more trapped.

Most of us aren’t just thinking about getting pregnant—we’re thinking about what it means to do it safely, with trust and mutual respect.

Taking the Power Back: Rethinking Fertility Control and Safety

This all sounds super heavy—but here’s the good news: knowledge and preparation truly are power. By talking about these challenges openly, we can better support each other and make intentional, empowered choices.

So, what steps can you take right now if you’re trying to conceive, or even just considering it? Here’s what’s working for me (and countless others in our FertilityUnlocked community):

1. Check In With Your Partner—For Real

Have an honest (maybe even uncomfortable) conversation about how recent news and laws are making you feel. Are you both on the same page about timelines, what-ifs, and backup plans?

2. Know Your Options—All of Them

Don’t let politics limit your sense of agency. Explore all available fertility paths—in-clinic and at-home. Did you know that companies like MakeAMom’s discreet solutions let you take more control of your fertility journey from the privacy of your own home? Their kits are reusable, affordable, and keep things between you and your partner, without any outside judgment.

3. Seek Out Support Networks

You’re not alone, even if it sometimes feels that way. Look for community groups, forums, or counseling services specializing in reproductive health and relationship support. It’s amazing how much lighter things feel when you’re talking to people who “get it.”

4. Protect Your Emotional and Physical Wellness

If you ever feel unsafe—or just overwhelmed—don’t wait to reach out for help. There are confidential hotlines and resources that can support you through tough times. And if your relationship becomes unsafe, know that your safety is always more important than anyone’s expectations about family building.

Flipping the Script: Turning Challenge Into Empowerment

Here’s what struck me most about the Time article: sometimes the biggest obstacles to family aren’t physical, but emotional and systemic. That’s why it’s so critical to support each other, share knowledge, and keep pushing for options that put power back in our hands.

The world may be changing in unpredictable ways, but your voice—and your choices—matter more than ever. So, how are you navigating family planning in today’s climate? What conversations are you having at home?

Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s start talking more openly—not just about fertility, but about what healthy, safe relationships mean in 2025 and beyond.

If you or someone you know is experiencing relationship violence, consider reaching out to a local support service. And if you’re ready to explore flexible, private options for growing your family, check out the resources and guides on MakeAMom’s website. You are not alone—let’s empower each other, every step of the way.