real-talk

Let’s get real: the most awkward, life-changing conversations rarely happen at the perfect time. I’d always assumed big “life talks”—you know, about money, death, or babies—were just for movies, or at least for when I was old enough to be the one giving the advice. So imagine my surprise when I stumbled across Casey Cohen’s story about chatting with his elementary-aged daughter about estate planning. Yup: wills, money, the “what if I’m not here” talk.

I know, you’re probably thinking, “Wait, I thought this was a fertility blog, not true crime!” Stay with me: this estate planning article (check it out here) totally flipped my perspective on how all of us should talk about big, sometimes-scary topics—including fertility—long before they’re urgent.

Why Are We So Afraid to Talk About Fertility?

Let’s be honest: talking about trying to have a baby can feel just as heavy as talking about what happens when we die. It’s fraught with hope, anxiety, and a million “what ifs.”

• What if it doesn’t work out—do I tell people?
• What if my partner isn’t ready?
• What if my body won’t cooperate?

Sound familiar? I used to dread these conversations—sometimes with partners, sometimes with myself. And every time I avoided them, the silence just grew louder.

Lessons from Talking About the Tough Stuff

Here’s what I took from Cohen’s approach to estate planning:

1. Start Early: He didn’t wait until there was an emergency. He normalized talking about a tough subject before it was a crisis.
2. Keep It Age-Appropriate: His daughter was still a kid, so he stuck to basics and answered questions as they came.
3. Make It Normal: He wove it into everyday life, not a one-and-done lecture, so it didn’t feel scary or taboo.

It hit me… why don’t we do this with fertility? Instead of waiting for “the perfect time,” or for things to go wrong, what if we normalized these conversations?

The Fertility Conversation—Your Way

If you’re on the path to parenthood—especially navigating at-home insemination or other options—you know how overwhelming it can be. (Been there!) Maybe you’re doing this solo, with a partner, or as a queer couple. The details might vary, but the need for honest, open communication? That’s universal.

Here’s what’s helped me (and what I wish I’d known sooner):

• Check Your Own Feelings First. Are you nervous, hopeful, exhausted? There’s no wrong answer. But naming it takes away the power of shame or secrecy.
• Share as Much (or as Little) as Feels Right. You don’t have to tell the whole family, but bringing a trusted friend or partner into the loop can be a huge relief.
• Use the Right Tools—and the Right Language. Sometimes, having resources on hand gives the conversation a practical anchor. For example, I found that reading about reusable at-home insemination kits (like these options from MakeAMom) helped me articulate my hopes and questions—and made the whole process less mysterious.
• Let It Be Ongoing. Just like money, wills, or health stuff, fertility is a journey, not a one-time decision. I promise, the conversations get easier the more you have them.

Why Silence Isn’t Golden (Trust Me)

Here’s where that open loop comes back: silence doesn’t actually protect us. Whether it’s estate planning, infertility, or family goals, keeping things bottled up just hands power over to anxiety and worst-case-scenario thinking. You end up feeling more alone and uncertain, not more in control.

When you start talking—yes, even about the awkward stuff—you open the door to support, shared wisdom, and sometimes even solutions you wouldn’t have found alone. As someone who once spent months secretly Googling “at-home insemination best practices” at 2am, I can promise: vulnerability wins every time.

Making the First Move: Your Conversation Starter Kit

Not sure how to bring it up? Steal my cheat sheet:

• “I’ve been thinking a lot about the future lately, and I want us to be able to talk about this—even if it feels weird.”
• “Have you heard about at-home fertility options? I found this site that breaks it down simply. Want to check it out together?”
• “It’s important to me that we’re on the same page, no pressure to decide anything tonight.”

Remember: you control the pace, the depth, and even who you talk to. But the most important thing is just: start.

Final Thoughts: The Power of Proactive, Not-So-Scary Talks

If there’s one thing the last year has taught us, it’s that the world is unpredictable—but having honest, proactive conversations about fertility (or any “big” topic) gives us back a little certainty, and a lot of hope.

So here’s my challenge: what’s the conversation you’ve been putting off? Could today be the day you get brave enough to bring it up, maybe a little imperfectly—but honestly? I’d love to hear your stories, tips, and even your flops in the comments below.

You’re not alone. And chances are, your conversation could be the game-changer you never knew you needed.