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Why Real Confidence Matters on the Fertility Journey—And How I Learned to Find It

I never thought I’d say this, but Sharon Horgan—yes, that Sharon Horgan—just taught me something unexpected about fertility.

Let me back up. Last night, doomscrolling after another awkward dinner where someone “joked” about baby names for me, I found this BBC article where Sharon Horgan confessed she only found her confidence after the second season of Bad Sisters. Wait, what? A BAFTA-winning, wildly talented woman—someone who literally writes confidence into TV characters—didn’t always feel she belonged?

It hit me like a ton of bricks: confidence isn’t a switch you flip on day one. It’s something you build, fumble, and earn—especially when it comes to trying to conceive (TTC) at home.

The Confidence Gap No One Talks About

Because here’s the raw truth: TTC can make you question everything. Your body, your decisions, your relationships, your sanity. Maybe you’re using an at-home insemination kit for the first time, hunched over a YouTube tutorial and wondering, “Am I doing this right?” Or maybe you’re months in, surrounded by ovulation charts and Instagram success stories, feeling like you’re always one step behind.

Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Confidence can feel as rare as a positive test result in the early days.

But what Sharon’s story reminded me is this: even the most dazzling, accomplished people feel like imposters sometimes. That feeling doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human. So, how do we build confidence when the stakes feel sky-high?

The Power of Owning Your Room (Even if It's Your Bedroom)

Sharon said she finally felt she "belonged in the room"—which made me wonder, what would it take for us to feel like we belong on this fertility journey?

Let’s be real. Medical offices and clinics can feel intimidating. But at home? You’re in charge. The bedroom, bathroom, living room—wherever your journey happens—becomes your space. That’s empowering… and also terrifying. Because now it’s your show.

Here’s what helped me start to own my story:

  • Learning is half the battle: The more I understood about fertility—the cycles, the products, what my body was actually up to—the less I panicked. Knowledge = power.
  • Experimenting without shame: The first time I unpacked a home insemination kit, I felt like I needed a PhD. But it turns out, kits like MakeAMom’s actually come with step-by-step guides, and their site has real stories and resources. Giving myself permission to learn (and laugh at my mistakes—yep, I once did spill half a vial) was huge.
  • Talking about it—out loud: My “fertility friends” chat is the best group text I’ve ever joined. You’d be amazed what sharing a tiny victory or a rough day can do for your confidence.

Why At-Home Fertility Is Actually Revolutionary

Let’s pause for a second. Ten years ago, the idea of doing your own insemination at home—quietly, affordably, on your own schedule—would have sounded like science fiction. Now? It’s normal. And that’s largely thanks to companies like MakeAMom, who’ve intentionally designed reusable, sensitive-friendly kits for different needs.

For example, I learned that:

  • The CryoBaby kit is ideal if you’re using frozen sperm or a lower volume.
  • The Impregnator kit is designed for low motility sperm (I mean, the name alone gives me a weird rush of power).
  • The BabyMaker kit is perfect if you have sensitivities or conditions like vaginismus—which, by the way, is way more common than anyone admits at brunch.

There’s something quietly radical about being able to take this part of your journey into your own hands. No waiting rooms. No stares. Just you and your partner—or you, solo—calling the shots.

The Real Secret: Confidence Grows With You

So, what’s the takeaway from Sharon’s confession, and from all of us figuring this out, cycle by cycle?

  • Confidence isn’t instant. It builds. Sometimes, it even lags behind your actions.
  • There’s no “right” timeline. Just like Sharon found her stride after two seasons, you might find yours after your second attempt—or your tenth. Both are okay.
  • You already belong in this room. Whether your journey starts at home, at a clinic, or somewhere in between, you’re in the room simply by showing up for yourself and your dream.

So if you’re thinking about at-home fertility, or you’re already knee-deep in the process, remember: real confidence comes from showing up, again and again—even when you don’t feel 100% ready.

And the next time you need a little boost, check out some real-life stories or support resources on places like MakeAMom’s site. You might just find the wisdom, or even the laugh, that keeps you going.

What about you? Have you found your confidence yet, or are you still searching? Share your story in the comments—or text that friend who knows exactly where you’re at. Because you absolutely, 100% belong here.