Why Assuming Someone’s Pregnant Is More Harmful Than You Think—And How the Fertility Conversation Is Changing
Imagine this: You’re in the middle of your workday, perhaps contemplating your next meeting or sneaking a glance at your to-do list. Suddenly, a coworker walks up—smiling, hand outstretched—and without warning rubs your belly. “Congratulations, when are you due?” they ask. You freeze, blindsided and embarrassed. The room suddenly feels smaller, and so does your self-esteem.
Sound like a nightmare scenario? For many, it’s all too real. Just last week, TwistedSifter shared a viral story about a woman who faced exactly this situation. Her decisive response made waves—but it also opened up a much-needed conversation. Why are we so comfortable assuming (and commenting on) someone else’s fertility? Is it just thoughtless small talk, or is there something deeper—and potentially harmful—going on?
Let’s break down what’s really at risk when we cross these boundaries, and, more importantly, how the fertility conversation is evolving in 2025.
Why “Are You Pregnant?” Cuts Deeper Than You Think
It might seem innocent—just idle curiosity, or maybe even an attempt at connection. But let’s be honest: pregnancy comments are so last decade for good reason. When we make assumptions about someone’s body or reproductive journey, we risk:
- Triggering emotional pain for those who are struggling with infertility, miscarriages, or complicated feelings about parenthood
- Undermining body autonomy by treating someone’s body as public property
- Perpetuating stigma against those who choose not to have children—or cannot
Even for those actively trying to conceive (TTC), these comments can be profoundly isolating. The emotional rollercoaster of fertility—tests, treatments, hope, disappointment—rarely gets seen. What looks like a “cute question” might sting deeply, especially when it reopens wounds of loss or longing.
The Silent Struggles: What You DON’T See
Let’s open a loop here. Why do these moments leave such a mark? Because the journey to parenthood is so often hidden from public view. The couple quietly timing cycles. The single parent using an at-home insemination kit after careful research. The LGBTQ+ partners seeking inclusive solutions. These stories rarely get airtime—but they’re everywhere.
According to recent studies, one in eight couples experience infertility. That means the “obvious” pregnancy glow people comment on is more likely a complex narrative—a story of resilience, testing, late-night Google searches, and maybe even tears.
And here's the twist: Our assumptions are almost always wrong, and our questions often miss the truth. So, what should we do instead?
Rewriting the Conversation: Respect, Empathy, and Empowerment
The world is finally catching on: it’s time to stop the invasive questions and start building a kinder, more open fertility culture. Here’s how you can lead the way:
- Keep your comments to yourself unless someone clearly invites you in
- Offer support, not speculation; a simple “I’m here if you ever want to talk” can go a long way
- Educate yourself on the challenges and options people face on their conception journey
- Challenge workplace norms that make any part of someone’s reproductive life a subject for gossip
Remember, even the most well-meaning gestures can backfire. The viral story proves that boundaries matter—so let’s respect them.
How At-Home Fertility Options Are Shifting Control Back to You
Here’s where things get a little brighter. For many modern families, privacy and control are game-changers in the fertility journey. That’s why innovations like at-home insemination kits are gaining traction—not just for their convenience, but for the sense of agency they offer.
Companies like MakeAMom’s home insemination solutions are empowering individuals and couples to take charge of their own reproductive story. Whether you’re dealing with low motility, sensitivities, or simply want to keep things private, the ability to manage insemination at home is breaking old taboos and giving hope back to those who’ve felt powerless.
With plain, discreet packaging and reusable kits that can fit diverse needs (think CryoBaby for frozen sperm, BabyMaker for sensitive conditions, and Impregnator for specific sperm challenges), MakeAMom and similar innovators are quietly rewriting what’s possible—and who gets to be part of the fertility conversation.
The Takeaway: Lead with Empathy (and Mind Your Comments)
As the workplace viral story made clear, it’s time to retire the awkward pregnancy guesses for good. Behind every body is a story we know nothing about—one that might be full of struggle, hope, and choices as unique as the individual themselves.
So next time you’re tempted to make a comment, pause and remember: Kindness is always on trend.
Have you or someone you know faced intrusive questions about fertility or pregnancy? What helped you set boundaries or shift the conversation? Drop your thoughts below—your story could be the encouragement someone else needs today.