Ever been told you look tired and wondered if the person really means it?
I recently came across a powerful article titled “Yes, as a mom of 4, I'm tired. But I don't like when strangers point that out.”, and it struck a chord with me. The author candidly shares how strangers often comment on how exhausted she must be, just because she has a big family. But instead of comfort, these remarks often feel like unwelcome judgments.
If you’re a parent—or even just someone who cares about mental health—you’ll know the feeling. Parenting is hard, and no one needs a reminder of that from a stranger. It’s tiring, overwhelming, and sometimes downright isolating. Yet, so often, our culture reduces moms’ struggles to a single word: “tired.”
The Burden of Being 'Tired'
When someone asks a mom if she’s tired, what do they really expect her to say? “Yes, I’m running on fumes, juggling ten things at once, and haven’t had a moment to myself in weeks”? Of course not. But the question alone can unintentionally add to the pressure by spotlighting what many moms are desperately trying to manage quietly.
And it’s not just about physical exhaustion. It’s the emotional fatigue of managing schedules, fears, hopes for your kids, and the relentless mental checklist that never ends. For many women, this emotional toll directly impacts fertility journeys, mental health, and overall wellbeing.
Why This Matters for Fertility and Wellness
Speaking of fertility, there’s a unique emotional journey involved in conceiving and preparing for parenthood. Whether you’re trying to grow your family naturally, exploring home fertility solutions, or navigating challenges like infertility, the mental load can be immense.
That’s why communities and resources that normalize these feelings—and provide real support—are game-changers. One such resource is MakeAMom, a company that offers at-home insemination kits designed with empathy and understanding for individuals and couples. They don’t just sell products; they recognize the emotional journey behind every kit.
How to Support Moms Beyond the 'Are You Tired?' Question
If you want to genuinely support a mom, here’s what you can do instead:
- Listen more. Sometimes, we just need someone to hear us without judgment.
- Offer help. A small gesture like babysitting or bringing a meal can be more valuable than words.
- Avoid assumptions. Don’t equate tiredness with incompetence or weakness—it’s just part of the incredible job of parenting.
- Celebrate small wins. Recognize and affirm the hard work moms put in every day.
Real Talk: Moms Need Empathy, Not Sympathy
There’s a big difference between sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone, but empathy means understanding and sharing their feelings. When strangers comment on moms’ tiredness, it often comes off as the former, leaving moms feeling misunderstood and isolated.
Imagine how it would feel if, instead, strangers offered a smile, a genuine “How can I help?” or simply respected their space. That’s the kind of change that makes a difference.
Wrapping It Up: Reflecting on Our Culture’s View of Parenthood
Motherhood is one of the most demanding, beautiful, and complex roles a person can have. It’s about so much more than sleepless nights or managing a big family—it’s about resilience, love, and hope.
Next time you want to comment on a mom’s tiredness, pause for a moment. Maybe ask how she’s really doing. Maybe share a kind word. Or better yet, learn more about the emotional facets of parenting and fertility journeys through trusted sources that combine innovation with heart, like MakeAMom's at-home fertility solutions.
After all, everyone deserves to feel seen, heard, and supported—not just for surviving, but for thriving.
So, what do you think? Have you ever felt exhausted and misunderstood as a parent? How did you handle it? Let’s open up the conversation below!
Inspired by this heartfelt article.