Can confidence really make a difference on your fertility journey? I never thought so—until now.
I read a BBC article this morning that honestly hit me right in the feels: Sharon Horgan, the brilliant mind behind Motherland and Bad Sisters, says she finally feels like she belongs in the room, and only after making the second season of her blockbuster show. (Check out the full story here.) It made me wonder: Why do so many of us—whether in TV, parenting, or building a family—spend years feeling like we’re on the outside looking in?
That “Do I Belong?” Feeling Isn’t Just for Celebs
I can’t count how many texts and late-night DMs I’ve gotten from people who are trying to conceive at home. The number one question isn’t always about best insemination technique or ovulation tracking—it’s some form of, “Am I even doing this right?” Or, even more vulnerable: “Do I deserve to be here, growing my family my way?”
Sharon’s confession made me think about what happens when we don’t feel confident—how it seeps into everything, from conversations with our partners to the way we choose (or don’t choose) resources and products. If you’re nodding along, you’re not alone. But there’s a twist: Just as confidence transformed Sharon’s career, it can transform your fertility journey, too.
The Surprising Link Between Confidence and Conception
Let’s get real—confidence isn’t some magical unicorn that makes sperm swim faster or eggs more welcoming. But here’s what it does change:
- How much you advocate for yourself (with doctors, partners, and even family)
- Whether you seek out and stick with resources that fit your values
- Your ability to quiet the inner critic that says you’re not “doing it right”
- The resilience you have when cycles don’t go your way
Research shows stress can actually work against fertility, and nothing kills stress faster than feeling in control—and yes, confident—in your own choices.
My “Not-So-Confident” Moment…
Let’s have a personal moment, shall we? When I first looked into at-home insemination, I was terrified I’d mess something up. Would I sterilize the kit wrong? Miss my window? Was I even “mom enough” to DIY my way to pregnancy?
I spent weeks lurking in forums, over-researching, and feeling less-than. The turning point? Finding resources that didn’t just talk about how to do things, but why my choices mattered—and that included hearing real stories, not just dry instructions.
What Happens When You Step Into the Room (Like Sharon Did)
When you finally feel like you belong—yes, even in your own fertility story—so much changes. Here’s what I wish someone told me:
- You get braver about asking questions, even the “stupid” ones.
- You realize your journey is valid, whether it involves a clinic, a kitchen timer, or an at-home kit.
- You give yourself grace for setbacks, knowing they’re not a reflection of your worth.
- You start seeking tools and support that align with your needs.
And that’s when the real magic happens—when you trade shame and self-doubt for empowerment.
Tiny Confidence Hacks for Your At-Home Fertility Journey
So, how do you find that Sharon Horgan-level confidence? Here are a few things that actually moved the needle for me:
- Track your wins (even small ones). Did you ask for help when you needed it? Mark it down. Did you stick to your plan this month? Celebrate.
- Find a product or kit that feels right for you, not just the “standard” one. All bodies are different, and you deserve solutions tailored to you. (I loved learning that kits like the CryoBaby, Impregnator, or BabyMaker from MakeAMom’s resource-rich website all tackle specific challenges—from sensitivity to sperm motility. Genius, right?)
- Connect with others. Online communities, support groups, or just a friend who “gets it” do wonders for feeling less alone.
- Practice gentle self-talk. It sounds cheesy, but telling yourself, “I’m learning and growing, and that’s enough,” can change the vibe of your whole day.
Why At-Home Can Be a Confidence Booster (When You Let It)
One thing I never expected? Doing more of my journey at home—and on my own terms—actually boosted my sense of belonging. There’s something intimate and validating about being in control, using thoughtful tools, and deciding what works for you.
And if you’re worried about privacy (who isn’t these days?), rest easy: many home insemination companies—including MakeAMom—ship in plain packaging, and provide tons of usage support without drowning you in jargon or judgment. That’s real empowerment, not just a tagline.
The Takeaway: Belonging Isn’t Given—It’s Claimed
If Sharon Horgan, an award-winning superstar, can spend years doubting she belongs, it’s more than okay for the rest of us to feel uncertain sometimes. But here’s the real takeaway: Confidence isn’t something you wait for. It’s something you practice, a little more each day, until you finally look around and realize—you’re in the room.
So, next time you’re second-guessing your fertility choices (or your place at the table), remember: there’s no “right” way to start a family. What matters is that you show up, ask questions, and keep claiming your space.
Have you had a “now I belong” moment on your journey? What helped you find your confidence? Share your stories below—let’s build that room, together.