Have you ever stopped to wonder why desire feels so powerful, almost magnetic, especially when it comes to starting a family?

If you’ve been navigating the rollercoaster of fertility, you know it’s not just about biology. It’s about the heart, the mind, and yes—the invisible forces that drive what we want and how we pursue it. Recently, Caitlyn Clark’s compelling article “On memes, mimetic desire, and why it’s always that deep” opened my eyes to just how deep these forces run.

What is mimetic desire?

Mimetic desire is a concept that explains how our wants are often shaped by what others desire—not just by random preference. We imitate the desires of peers or society, and this shapes what we think will bring us happiness and fulfillment. In the context of fertility, this can feel overwhelming. Seeing friends or family conceive naturally, social media stories of pregnancy joy, or even the well-meaning advice can intensify those desires—and sometimes even heighten the pressure.

But here’s the secret: understanding mimetic desire can empower you instead of discouraging you. When you realize how your desires might be influenced, you reclaim agency. You can align your journey with what truly resonates with you and your partner.

Why does this matter for your fertility journey?

Because fertility isn’t just a medical challenge — it’s an emotional and psychological expedition. It demands resilience, hope, and sometimes, a fresh perspective on control and desire. When you bring awareness to the inner forces driving your quest for parenthood, you can nurture your mindset and stay motivated through the ups and downs.

How to harness this awareness for your benefit?

1. Recognize your unique path. Your story is yours alone, molded by your circumstances and choices. Celebrate that uniqueness.

2. Choose what to internalize. Social stories and cultural narratives can inform you, but don’t let them dictate your self-worth or timeline.

3. Create a supportive environment. Surround yourself with understanding voices—even online communities that “get it.” This can help balance the mimetic influences.

4. Leverage thoughtful tools. For example, MakeAMom’s at-home insemination kits offer a discreet, empowering way to take control of your fertility journey in the comfort of your own home. Their options like the CryoBaby and Impregnator kits are designed thoughtfully to match different needs, whether you’re dealing with low motility sperm or want a cost-effective, reusable approach. You can find more helpful resources at MakeAMom’s official site.

The emotional boost you didn’t know you needed

It’s incredible how understanding the deeper layers of desire can reduce anxiety and build hope. Fertility is a journey that tests patience and spirit, but with every step, you’re learning about yourself and what matters most. The power to conceive isn’t just in biology—it’s in your mindset, your support system, and the tools you choose.

So next time you feel swayed by the stories around you or the pressure to “just get pregnant,” pause and reflect on what you truly want. Let that be your compass.

Now, here’s a question for you: How has your perception of desire shaped your fertility journey so far? Share your thoughts below or connect with others who understand your path. The right mindset might just be the game-changer you need.

Remember, your journey is not just about conception, but about embracing empowerment in every moment. And sometimes, the deepest desires uncovered by memes and mimetic desire can lead you right where you need to be.