Have you ever felt utterly unprepared when someone you care about says, ‘I have something important to tell you’? It’s one of those moments where your heart races, your mind scrambles, and all you want is to say the right thing — but what is the right thing? This is exactly what many face when a loved one comes out as LGBTQ+, and it can feel especially daunting in the context of growing families and fertility journeys.

Recently, I dove into an eye-opening article from TIME called “What to Say When a Loved One Comes Out”, where leading LGBTQ+ voices share exactly what they wish people understood and said during these vulnerable moments. It struck a chord with me, especially thinking about how conversations around coming out intersect with the journeys so many face when trying to grow their families — journeys that are often deeply personal, challenging, and filled with hope.

Why Does What You Say Matter So Much?

When someone comes out, it’s more than just sharing an identity. It’s a moment of truth, vulnerability, and immense trust. Your response can either open a door of comfort and support or close it with misunderstanding. But it’s okay if you don’t have all the perfect words. What truly counts is the intention behind them.

Here are five heartfelt ways to respond that resonate deeply, especially when thinking about the broader journey of love, family, and inclusion:

1. Listen, Really Listen. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is simply listen without interrupting or rushing to respond. Let your loved one tell their story in their own words and on their own timeline.

2. Express Gratitude for Their Trust. Acknowledge the courage it took to share this with you. Saying something like, “Thank you for trusting me with this part of your life,” can be incredibly affirming.

3. Avoid Assumptions or ‘Fixing’ Comments. Resist the urge to jump into problem-solving mode or make assumptions about what their identity means. Instead, ask open questions if you’re unsure, like, “How can I support you best?”

4. Affirm Their Identity Loudly and Proudly. Use their chosen name and pronouns without hesitation. It sounds simple, but it makes a massive difference in feeling seen and accepted.

5. Remember That Support is an Ongoing Journey. Coming out isn’t a one-time event but part of a lifelong experience. Keep checking in, educating yourself, and showing up.

How Does This Connect to Fertility and Family Building?

You might be wondering, “What does coming out have to do with fertility or trying to conceive?” More than you might expect.

For many LGBTQ+ individuals and couples, the path to parenthood can be uniquely complex. From exploring at-home insemination to navigating fertility challenges, every step is tied with layers of identity and vulnerability. That’s where organizations like MakeAMom become such vital allies — offering innovative, discreet at-home insemination solutions that empower families regardless of their structure or journey.

MakeAMom designs their kits to accommodate diverse needs, whether it’s low motility sperm with their Impregnator kit or sensitivities like vaginismus supported by their BabyMaker kit. Knowing that these tools exist allows LGBTQ+ hopeful parents to reclaim agency over their fertility journey in a private, cost-effective way.

What I Learned From Talking to Real People

Many users of these kits shared something beautiful with me: the intersection of acceptance and family creation is deeply intertwined. For them, feeling supported and understood in their identity isn’t separate from seeking fertility support — it is fertility support.

Imagine how empowering it is to have a partner, friend, or family member who not only accepts you for who you are but also stands beside you as you embark on the path to parenthood.

Now, It’s Your Turn

If someone you love has recently come out, or if you’re expecting that heartfelt conversation, remember this: your words can be a source of light and strength. And if you’re on your own fertility journey, don’t forget to seek out resources and communities that celebrate YOU, exactly as you are.

Have you had a moment like this—either coming out yourself or supporting someone else? What did you say, or wish you had said? Drop your stories below or share this post with someone who might need a little extra encouragement today.

Because at the end of the day, love and family come in all forms — and every voice, every story, every hopeful heart deserves to be heard.