Ever been told you look tired — by a complete stranger? If you’re a parent, particularly a mom, chances are you have. And if you’re a mom of multiple kids, you probably hear it more than you'd like. Recently, a viral article titled Yes, as a mom of 4, I'm tired. But I don't like when strangers point that out struck a chord with many by revealing just how exhausting those remarks can be.
But why does this seemingly innocent comment bother so many moms? And what does it tell us about the unspoken challenges of parenthood?
The Unwelcome Spotlight on Fatigue
The article highlights a mom of four sharing her experience: strangers often remark on how “tired” she looks, as if it’s some sort of public spectacle or trivia game. While fatigue is an undeniable part of parenting—especially with a larger family—it’s also a deeply personal experience that shouldn’t be so casually observed and vocalized.
Think about it: Why do people feel entitled to comment on a mom’s exhaustion but rarely on anyone else’s? This reveals a societal assumption that moms, especially those with many children, exist in a constant state of depletion, which can be both stigmatizing and reductive.
The Psychology Behind the Comment
Data shows that unsolicited comments about appearance or energy levels can negatively affect mental health, self-esteem, and even social interactions. For moms, who often juggle endless roles, such comments can feel like passive microaggressions – subtle reminders of how demanding parenthood is.
The mom in the article has developed a “variety of responses” to deflect or confront these remarks, underscoring how persistent and pervasive the issue is. These interactions also reveal a disconnect between public perception and the private realities of parenting.
What This Means for Parents Navigating Fertility and Parenthood
Whether you’re trying to conceive, navigating the early days of parenthood, or managing a growing family, the pressure and scrutiny can be immense. That’s why access to supportive, non-clinical resources is so crucial.
For example, companies like MakeAMom offer at-home insemination kits — including options tailored for various fertility challenges like low sperm motility or sensitivities such as vaginismus. Their products empower individuals and couples to take private, informed steps toward building their families on their own terms, reducing the stress of clinical processes and societal judgment.
The Bigger Picture: Supporting Parents Beyond Tired Comments
Here’s the thing: fatigue is an inevitable part of parenting, but constant public commentary about it isn’t helpful. Instead, we should foster empathy, understanding, and support for parents across all stages. Rather than pointing out how tired someone looks, ask how you can help or simply acknowledge the hard work with kindness.
What Can We Do?
- Pause before commenting: Not every observation needs to be voiced, especially if it might make someone feel self-conscious.
- Offer empathy, not pity: If you want to connect, try more supportive language.
- Recognize the diversity of parenthood: Each journey is unique, often more complex than it appears.
- Leverage private, accessible tools: Support fertility journeys and parenthood with options that respect privacy and individual needs, like at-home insemination kits.
Final Thoughts
The next time you see a mom who looks tired, resist the urge to say it aloud. Instead, consider the incredible emotional and physical labor behind that look. Parenting is a powerful, challenging journey, and the best support comes not from unsolicited commentary but from respect and understanding.
Have you experienced similar moments? How do you handle unsolicited remarks about your parenting or appearance? Share your thoughts below—we’d love to hear from you!
For more insights and resources about innovative paths to parenthood, explore MakeAMom’s approach to fertility, which combines technology and privacy to support families in making their dreams come true.
